Category: Yamas

Letting Go

9/9/2024

The The Great New York State Fair is over. School is back in session. The first few leaves are falling from the mostly green trees. Autumn Equinox is only a week away, and it’s time to let go of the short, sweet CNY summer.

Letting go is a concept that resonates deeply within the practice of yoga. It's not just about physical postures, but also about a mental and emotional release. In yoga, letting go is synonymous with surrender, acceptance, and non-attachment.

Physical Letting Go:

Poses: Many yoga poses require a physical release. For instance, in a forward fold, letting go of the head and upper body towards the ground requires a letting go of control or long-held tensions.
Breath: Deep, conscious breathing is a fundamental aspect of yoga. Inhale brings in new energy, while exhale releases tension and, sometimes, helps to release old patterns.

Mental and Emotional Letting Go:

Meditation: Meditation is a practice of letting go of thoughts and focusing on the present moment. It's a training in non-attachment to mental constructs.
Surrender: Surrendering to what is, rather than fighting against it, is a core principle of yoga. It's about accepting life's challenges and uncertainties.
Non-Attachment: Aparigraha, or non-attachment, doesn't mean indifference; it's about not clinging to outcomes or possessions. It's a freedom from the limitations of the ego.

The Benefits of Letting Go:

Reduced Stress: Letting go can alleviate stress and anxiety by reducing the grip of negative thoughts and emotions.
Increased Contentment: Acceptance and non-attachment can lead to a greater sense of peace and contentment.
Improved Relationships: Letting go of expectations and judgments can improve relationships with others.
Enhanced Creativity: When the mind is free from clutter, creativity can flourish.

Tips for Letting Go:

Practice Mindfulness: Pay attention to your thoughts and feelings without judgment.
Engage in Physical Activity: Movement such as yoga, walking, or dancing can help release tension.
Spend Time in Nature: Connecting with nature can promote a sense of peace and calm.
Seek Support: Talking to a friend, therapist, or spiritual advisor can provide guidance.

Letting go is a journey, not a destination. It's a lifelong practice that can lead to inner peace and fulfillment.

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Sex and Drugs and Brahmacharya

6/8/2013

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I love cookies. They have power over me, and I have difficulty practicing moderation when cookies are nearby. I gave up most of my other vices years ago. I haven’t had a cup of coffee in almost 10 years. Haven’t had a cigarette in more than 20. But cookies still have their magical hold on me. And my daughter recently baked the most incredible, crunchy on the sea-salt-sprinkled outside, chewy on the dark-chocolate-morseled inside batch of chocolate chip cookies I have ever tasted. Ever. And my mother baked a mean cookie.

If Patanjali, the ancient sage credited with writing the Yoga Sutras, saw this blog post, he would undoubtedly roll his third eye. He would wonder why on earth I was writing about cookies in a post about Brahmacharya. Brahmacharya, in its original form, suggested a practice of celibacy.

Consider the time period in which the Yoga Sutras were written. Depending on your source, they were written in 400 BCE or 200 BCE or 200 AD. The scholars don’t all agree on the exact date or even the exact author, but it’s safe to say they were written a really long time ago. Life on this planet was not much like it is now. Plus, they were written in another country on another continent and steeped in a different culture than the one you may live in. Imagine yourself as an ancient yogi, having given up all of your worldly possessions to devote your life to yoga. Imagine living in a cave with the clothes on your back and just enough food to survive. You would spend all of your time meditating, chanting, practicing and teaching yoga. Your practice of Brahmacharya would literally mean a life of celibacy, such as the life of a Catholic priest.

The typical modern yogi is not interested in celibacy. In my years of practice, I’ve never heard of anyone actually practicing celibacy (on purpose) as part of their practice. I have vague memories of reading about the rare person who takes the vow, and I have heard through the yogi grapevine that there are some Yoga Teacher Training programs that require their students to abstain during their training. I can’t help but wonder how that plays out.

For most contemporary yoga practitioners, Brahmacharya is taught and practiced more as a practice of moderation. As in, save your energy for the things that really matter. If you are lucky enough to have figured out your Dharma (your life purpose – more on this another day), you will want to conserve as much of your physical, mental, and emotional energy as possible to pursue that Dharma. Don’t use your energy for things that simply waste your time. Consider some of the distractions we use that take us off course on a daily basis:

Screens – this includes ALL of your devices with screens, such as TV, computer, cell phone, iPad or other tablet, etc. I love connecting with people on Facebook and laughing at Modern Family or Big Bang Theory as much as the next person, but sometimes I look up and realize hours have gone by. Hours that could have been better spent elsewhere – with my family, in the yard, outside walking or hiking, reading, writing, or practicing yoga!

Socializing – There’s nothing wrong with socializing; in fact, it’s wonderful. But like anything else, if you overdo it, it can take away from more important pursuits.

Sex—I can’t have a blog post on Brahmacharya and leave it out. I believe you can have a healthy sex life and still practice Brahmacharya. Put the focus on healthy! A healthy sex life is one in which your desires do not overpower your thoughts. Consider fidelity, promiscuity, respect for self and others.

Cookies (or cake or drugs or alcohol or nicotine or caffeine or insert your vice here)—I read once that Stephen King savors a cigarette each time he completes a novel. Once a regular smoker, he has found a way to enjoy the rare cigarette while still enjoying good health.

The bottom line is moderation--enjoying all of the pleasures of life in moderation. When a craving or habit is unmanageable and out of control, we are no longer practicing Brahmacharya. The desires or cravings are running the show. We can’t have that.

Take the reins or the steering wheel or any other metaphor you like. Make mindful choices about how you spend your time and energy. That qualifies as a modern yogi’s practice of Brahmacharya.

Coming back to my vice. I suspect my cookie addiction will be with me for as long as I draw breath. I strive for moderation. Sometimes I succeed, and sometimes I fail. I am human, and that is okay.

If you would like to sample the amazingness of the cookies that inspired this post, in moderation of course, the recipe came from the NY Times. After a quick Google search, I realize I may be the only person on the planet who was not already familiar with them.

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Lessons from my mother and my yogurt

6/4/2013

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My mother died two years ago. There will never be another person who loves me so completely and unconditionally, worries about me constantly, and provides the virtual blanket of security that only a mother can offer. My mother was, among a million other things, my first teacher.

She was proud of me, and she believed in me, even when I failed miserably. She didn’t judge me or scold me when I wasted a lot of money, unable to successfully transition from high school (achiever) to (lost and reckless) college freshman. When I was hopeless and depressed and felt like a big fat failure, she believed I would persevere, and I did, buoyed by her quiet support. She was proud of me a zillion times, including when I became a yoga teacher. She witnessed several of my graduations, even—eventually—a college graduation. And then, later, even though she never stopped calling it “yogurt,” (as in, “how was your yogurt class today?”) she was just as proud of my graduation from Yoga Teacher Training. I corrected this pronunciation error many times, but eventually gave up, realizing that I would actually be disappointed if she got it right. I don’t think she had a really clear idea what yoga was all about, but she saw that it made me whole and happy, and that was enough.

When she was not proud of me, when she was clearly disappointed, I felt deep, soul-darkening shame.

Like most mothers, she was my barometer of right and wrong. I remember a grocery shopping trip with her when I was very young, maybe four or five. She had allowed me the luxury of purchasing a cardboard backed, molded plastic covered assortment of varying-degrees-of-tiny little naked dolls. I can remember these dolls as part of a favorite game. My brother would hide them around the living room-- on the knobs to the television, on a bookshelf, behind a coaster on a side table. I found immense pleasure in running around the room locating all of my little naked babies.

We were at the Victory Market in Chittenango, an institution that’s been gone as long as my childhood. I grabbed a pack of gum from the conveniently located treasure trove in the check-out line, while she was busy putting groceries on the belt. I don’t remember why I chose not to ask if I could have it or if I even knew that I was stealing. When we got home, she discovered the larceny, and she put me right back in the car to make amends. I had to tell the store manager what I had done, and she paid for the gum. I lost the privilege of owning the gum and, more upsetting, the naked babies. I was crushed and ashamed.

I don’t remember a lot of details from childhood. I don’t remember a lot of details in general. I tend to remember things in terms of feelings and perceptions. But I remember feeling ashamed, because my mother was ashamed of me. It certainly wasn’t the last time she taught me right from wrong, but it’s the first time that I can clearly remember.

As practitioners of yoga, we study Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras. We learn of the eight limbs of yoga. We aspire to practice, along with the other six limbs (to be savored in future posts), the Yamas and Niyamas, a list of guidelines for leading a yogic lifestyle of awareness and principle.

The Yamas are five practices of restraint.

Ahimsa is non-violence, the practice of not harming yourself or anyone else.

Satya is truthfulness.

Asteya, the big one in this story, is not stealing.

Brahmacharya is sexual abstinence or, in a more contemporary sense, balance and moderation.

Aparigraha is non-hoarding or non-coveting behavior.

The Niyamas describe five self-observances.

Saucha is purity.

Santosha is contentment with who you are and what you have.

Tapas is discipline and austerity.

Svadhyaya is self-study of life, behavior, patterns, or spiritual texts to promote understanding.

Isvara-pranidhana is surrender to a higher power.

If you are blessed, you learn about right and wrong from the people in charge of raising you. You may learn some from your religious or civic leaders, teachers and friends and role models of all sorts. No matter what form it comes in, the basic tenets of right and wrong seem to all boil down to the same things.

I am constantly reminded of my mother’s teachings. She never practiced yoga in her life, but she and my father lived a more yogic lifestyle than most people I know. I will revisit each of these ideals in future posts, as I move through them in life or in classes.

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Letting Go

Sex and Drugs and Brahmacharya

Lessons from my mother and my yogurt

Dena D. Beratta

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